God in the Machine

Literally "God in the machine", Deus Ex Machina originally referred to Greek plays, where the "gods" would be lowered onto the stage with ropes in order to provide a quick resolution to the story. Today, Deus Ex Machina refers to any improbably and/or overly convenient character or mechanism that comes out of nowhere and saves the character(s).

Name:

"I don't get it, Big Dan..." -George Clooney in O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Oh, to be in India in the summertime...

In response to this breaking news from our friends at Yahoo.

It might be hard at first to tell who is better off because of their elections, India or the U.S. They have Gandhi and overpopulation, we have Fear Factor and a choice between the lesser of two evils. Tough choice, yes?

It's all so simple though, when you break it down scientifically. Let's take a look:

DEMOCRATIC PROCESS
India: Count the votes. Whoever gets the most votes wins.
U.S.: The major networks call the election wrong, often BEFORE THE POLLS CLOSE, then whoever gets the fewest votes wins. Don't ask - it's a math thing.
Advantage: India

CRITICAL THRUST OF ELECTION
India: Concern for the needy poor in the country who got left behind in thetechnological/financial boom among the elite.
U.S.: Which multi-millionaire do you want by the red button and which one has the funniest commercials? Poor? We have poor folks in America?
Advantage: India

LOSER'S REACTION
India: "We have given up office, but not our responsibility to serve the nation. Victory and defeat are a part of life, which are to be viewed with equanimity."
U.S.: Both sides, at various points on election night, claim the election was "stolen." The 2004 campaign's central theme? "Anyone but Bush!" Way to keep our focus on the issues!
Advantage: India

CRITICAL FIGURES
India: Gandhi's family and legacy
U.S.: Paris Hilton, Al Franken and the Olsen Twins.
Advantage: Dude, the Olsens are HOT. U.S.

The winner? India, 3-1. See? It's easy when you break down the numbers scientifically.

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